Gayity
Mr. Les B. Frank
Mr Les B. Frank
Your Guidance Counselor for Life
Hey Mr. Frank,
I hooked up with one guy Friday night and a different one on Saturday night. That’s not out of the ordinary. The strange thing is that both guys stole my underwear.
What’s up with that? If they’d have asked, I would have swapped with them, like a souvenir, but they took mine without saying anything. Is this kind of underwear theft a common thing or is this an isolated coincidence? Should I call the guys and tell them I want my briefs back, or what?
Signed,
Two Pair Short
Plattsburgh, NY
Dear Short,
I’ll try to be brief. I assume that you’re not jock strapped for underwear, since you’ve only had the two pair swiped. Do you really want to get to the bottom of this alleged theft or is it merely a question of wanting to know why?
If these were tricks, it would seem to be a lot of effort to track them down just to get back your skivvies. I expect that they’d deny taking them, anyway.
I’ve had a few of my unders plundered and, frankly, found it to be quite an ego stroke. I’m flattered if somebody is turned on by my sweaty and sometimes-stained undergarments. I confess to having purloined a particularly appealing pair left on the lockerroom floor by a messy stud,once, too.
Keep a closer eye on your fine washables and be a little more selective about who you take them off in front of, as well.
Bottom line: It could have been your wallet. With undies, you got off easy and, we can assume, they used them to get off later.
*****
Hey Mr. Frank,
My girlfriend and I went to a couple Pride events around the country last month and my girlfriend showed a lot more than her pride. She went topless and just put little Band Aids over her nipples. I know I’m supposed to be all cool with that but I definitely wasn’t. People were staring at her and touching her breasts. It was like being out with a stripper. I told her that it was upsetting me and that she should put on a top. She told me that I should get over it and stop being such a prude.
Who’s right?
Signed,
No Topless Pride
Bennington, VT
Dear No Topless,
As a butch gay man, I have never clamored for women to go topless. I’d no more want to see Tits On Parade than Disney on Ice. And certainly not Tits on Ice. But I digress.
According to current laws in most places in the U.S., you are right. But why should women have to cover their torsos while men can bare their own freely?
It’s yet another rule created by a bunch of straight-laced straight men in an era when women were treated like nothing more than baby-making property. If your girlfriend was enjoying the freedom of being topless and the empowerment that it helped her feel, I don’t see a problem. As long as her motivation wasn’t to flirt or be disrespectful to you, then you should try to see her points, so to speak.
Give it a go yourself. You may even like it. In the meantime, try to support your girlfriend’s desire to not have her breasts supported in public.