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     So I was at a party the other night and needed to stop the conversation. It had reached my boredom threshold. The straight folks and the gay folks were holding forth on their favorite cheesecakes - CHEESECAKES - and cheesecake recipes, all in nauseating detail.
       I took a swig of my sour apple martini and announced loudly in the direction of my gay friend in the group, "You know, darling, cheesecake is like dick - the thicker the better."
     Suddenly the conversation ended. The straight folks inexplicably scattered, and my friend doubled over, holding his sides. And it occurred to me to wonder if that straight couple wasn't the boss and boss' wife of one of my hosts. Oops. (As luck would have it, they weren't.) But with all the interesting stuff going on in the world right now, we were talking cheesecake. CHEESECAKE. I mean, really!
      For starters, Home Depot, the big orange retailer of home improvement supplies, has recently announced that they will be extending benefits to the same-sex partners of their employees. My thinking: much like Broadway, if we can make it in home improvement, we can make it anywhere. And as if Home depot wasn't one of the gayest places on the planet. Where else can you meet a nice single gay guy on a Saturday morning and talk appliances?
      For years, I've seen the t-shirts for sale in Florida gay stores with the Home Depot logo modified to read "Homo Depot." (Much, I'm sure, to the chagrin of the Home Depot legal department.) Finally, the place is living up to its potential, and Home Depot should be rewarded with our applause - and our dollars. Lowe's, take note! (Which reminds me, in the variation on the cheesecake subject, of lines NOT to use at Home Depot when shopping for a date. Lines like, "Is that a two by four, or are you happy to see me?" Or, "Treated or untreated? Let's discuss the relative hardness of wood." Or that lesbian favorite, "Ooooh! Berber! I just love to stroke the carpet here!")
      Meanwhile, on the other end of the spectrum, our first gay governor bade farewell to his job in the state of New Jersey. Some gay folks held him up as some sort of gay role model. I thought he was some sort of gay failure. And he will fade into history as a footnote. Unless, of course, he pulls a Bill Clinton and manages a comeback. But he didn’t seem to have that type of charisma. Not many people do.
       Speaking of folks without charisma, it's been fascinating to watch the Kerry presidential bid begin to implode. Polls are taking a tumble, and the hope that he will replace the man who wants to deny us the right to marry seems to be becoming dimmer. Ironically, part of Kerry's problem isn't flip-flopping. It's straddling. It’s not being principled. Instead of saying, "Discrimination is wrong, discrimination is wrong, discrimination is wrong!", he's taken the convoluted path of opposing the federal marriage ban while supporting civil unions while supporting the Massachusetts marriage ban. Say what? I'm actually good at playing Twister, and even I can't contort enough to understand this set of positions.
       Meanwhile, the Republican Convention took place, and all sorts of moderate folks were showcased. Folks like the rather gay-friendly Governator of Caleeforneeyah, and the extremely gay friendly ex-mayor of New York City. But the Republican platform came down squarely against gay marriage, and President Bush did so as well in his acceptance speech. I turned the TV off when he said it. I couldn't stand to watch him anymore.
      Meanwhile, his Vice President has a lesbian daughter, and the Vice President himself has said he doesn't see why states shouldn't be allowed to grant relational rights to gay and lesbian couples. How can the President look at his VP and not feel ashamed? Particularly given that, watching the coverage of the convention, I got the sense that the average delegate didn't really give a rat's patootie about gay marriage and wasn't particularly gay-unfriendly. The President was pandering. To a constituency that is, in my opinion, shrinking.
      The new kids on the block - the citizens of this country under the age of 30 - seem by and large unopposed to gay folks. They know them. Because unlike the former governor of New Jersey, gay folks are coming out and making themselves known early in life. Students who are entering college this year were mostly born in 1986 - and cannot remember a time when there weren't gay characters on TV. The President is placing himself on the wrong side of history, all in order to get a few more votes from the religious right.
      One group of people the President will not be getting a vote from is the gay Log Cabin Republicans. To their credit, they refused to endorse the President, due to his stance on gay marriage. And my guess is that there are a lot more gay Republicans than the President's advisers calculate. I recently, in fact, attended a Log Cabin Republican event, intrepid journalist that I am, and the discussion was about withholding votes from Bush. Now if the ten percent rule holds anywhere near true in the Republican party - heck, even if it's only five percent - and those gay Republicans withhold their votes, then that will send a powerful electoral message. Namely, that gay and lesbian Republicans don't appreciate a Bush opposed to marriage. At least, not of the presidential variety.
      Now isn't that more interesting than cheesecake?

Kevin Isom is the author of It Only Hurts When I Polka and Tongue in Cheek and Other Places, available at bookstores and online. He may be reached at isomonline@aol.com or www.KevinIsom.com