News

Features

Hometown Hero

Safety Patrol

Blue Waters, Gray Air

Shakin' Your Shooka Dookas

Views

Editorial

Letters to the Editor

Columns

Arts

Community Compass

Comics

Hometown Hero

United Way Recognizes 'Sex with Dan' Volunteer
Dan Berns

      Dan Berns, once the co-owner of Industrial Ink and Steel, a tattoo shop, was recognized with an honorable mention award at the United Way's "Hometown Hero" awards in September. Berns earned the award for his work on the Sex with Dan program through Outright Vermont. Berns' recognition garnered $1,000 for the agency.
     Berns said he was surprised by the nomination and amazed that he won something. That the something meant extra money for Outright was "the best."
     The once-a-month program has Berns talking frankly with sexually active youth about how to reduce their risk of infection with the HIV virus and prevention and harm reduction with regard to other risky behaviors and sexually transmitted diseases. Berns, who is open about his own HIV-positive status, said he thinks it is that and his experience that the youth are open to. "It's all about communication," he said. "Without communication, you don't have a positive relationship." He linked increased communication and the development of responsibility.
     Lluvia Mulvaney-Stanak, co-director of Outright Vermont, heard about the United Way's program and "we decided to take a stab at nominating Dan," even though Outright is not funded through the agency. "We just wanted to do everything we could to acknowledge him on behalf of all the youth he's had an impact on in the now almost two years of the program. We used the name of the program, 'Sex with Dan,' extensively throughout the nomination papers," Mulvaney-Stanak said.
     "There were 50-60 nominations and awards in five categories. Because there were so many great nominations, they decided to open up two honorable mentions," Mulvaney-Stanak explained. "It was sweet to hear the person from the United Way read out in front of 400 people who work with United Way the honorable mentions and say 'Sex with Dan.'"
      Mulvaney-Stanak declared that it would be hard to overstate "what Dan has done for Outright and the youth here. He breaks down the stigmas attached to being queer, being sexual however they do that. He's giving the youth a kind of positive sex ed that they get nowhere else. There's nowhere that youth can experience positive regard for being queer or learn how to be positive about sex, self-affirming and self-advocating."
     And while critics may blanch at the name of the program, "it's the title that gets the youth here," Mulvaney-Stanak insisted.
     Berns recalled a time when he and his partner were at a performance at the Flynn Center and he was approached by a woman. "'You don't know me,' she said, 'but we talked about flowers at City Market this afternoon. My son is a different person because of your program. You have changed his life for the better. You don't know the impact you have on these kids.'"
      The shaven-headed, bearded, tattooed man lit up inside as he spoke of helping kids figure out how to talk about safer sex. "It was amazing how much these kids knew, and how much they thought they knew. Sometimes they taught me something, figured out how to make an activity safer, something that was new to me." The number of youth at any given discussion ranged from a low of four to a high of 40, averaging 10-25.
     When Berns was hospitalized for several months last winter, the Outright youth sent him a huge construction-paper heart with a rainbow of condoms taped to it. Inside, surrounded by signatures, was the message, "We miss having 'SEX' with you!"