Arts
I Do Laugh
I
Do Laugh
Kate Clinton laughs at marriage, politics, Viagra,
Homeland Security and more
by E. Lynne Lemont
Yup!
Kate Clinton, one of the more high profile skeptics when it comes to incorporating
a patriarchal concept like "marriage" into lesbian culture,
is now "the marrying kind." She's even got the certificate from
the Universal Life Church to prove that she can unite couples of whatever
gender in marriage.
But then again, she and her "little
partner" Urvashi Vaid, have not yet done the deed - at least as of
the date of this recording. Clinton says she asked, but Urvashi turned
her down. Clinton admits she wanted to do it because "we could use
the publicity," and then goes into a riff on The New York Times'
publication of same-sex wedding announcements. Instead, the two went down
to City Hall ("back when it was working") and registered as
domestic partners. First among the rights gained? "I could visit
her in jail!" Which, considering Vaid's street-demo proclivities,
is no small victory. Or so says Kate, who then segues into the then-upcoming
Republican National Convention in New York City and a suggestion that
the Summer Olympics be combined with the convention and all "performance-enhancing
drugs" would be banned... except, of course, Viagra.
And that's only a few of the topics
the fast-talking comedian skewers with her quick jab-jab-jab-BOOM! delivery.
She asks a lot of an audience - like that they read the news and follow
politics. Anyone who doesn't will be a little lost at a Kate Clinton performance.
She's fairly even-handed, characterizing
the Democrats as people "who can't take their own side in a fight,"
and who, "if they had a photo of George Bush, drunk, naked, and going
down on Dick Cheney in the Lincoln Bedroom, wouldn't know what to do with
it!"
So yes, the content is a little dated,
but it's a snicker-producing antidote to the recent election results.
As always, the Catholic Church comes under
her laser gaze and whiplash tongue (wait, don't picture that, unless we're
talking about Sister Steven), particularly for the child abuse scandals.
She has "Father Fondle" and "Monsignor Molesta" holding
a press conference while she rebuts (that'’s one 't' if you please)
their imagined assertions: Father F: "It's not the abuse, it's the
cover-up." KC: "No, it's the abuse." Archbishops, she says,
"don't spin well."
The thing about Clinton, a former
English teacher and a stand-up comedian for the last 23 years, is that
there's hardly a wasted word - even the throw-away asides are devastatingly
funny, and you have to be quick to follow them. If you know local and
international comedy star Janice Perry's style, you've got it.
The Marrying Kind is Clinton's
seventh comedy album, adding to her healthy output that includes a book
(Don't Get Me Started), and a stack of columns from The Advocate,
among other outlets. She has performed in clubs and halls coast to coast,
off-Broadway, and in films (notably, The Secret Life of Dentists).
She has, according to her website, "come a long way from those first
performances in Unitarian Church basements. She still prays to the Unit."
This is not any kind of traditional
set-up, punchline, 'my-girlfriend,' 'airline-food' stand-up comedy. Except
that you know it is all carefully planned, it could pass for some kind
of hilarious stream of consciousness. Call it 'associative.' One stream
begins with Clinton "talking to John Ashcroft. Well I was talking,
he was listening." It travels through her mother's being a pioneer
of retinal scanning ("You look me in the eye..."), the number
of carb points in a communion wafer, tongue techniques learned from removing
the Host from the roof her mouth, guardian angels, therapists, Jews, Italians,
truth and lies, a lesbian health conference, lesbian conference-goers
flipping off the presidential motorcade, the intelligence quotient of
the Secret Service, and executive colonoscopies - all in about 6 minutes.
Now that we’re a market rather than a movement, she imagines Motrin
sponsoring the Michigan Women's Music Festival, and Preparation H sponsoring
the 'Sodomy Celebrations.' Which she then segues into a long riff on the
U.S. Supreme Court decisions upholding affirmative action and overturning
sodomy laws, and the resulting homophobic pronouncements of the Axis of
Medievals in opposition and of Senator Rick ("the 'P' is silent")
"Sanctimoron."
Vice President Dick Cheney is "the
Bush Whisperer." Referring to Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, Clinton
points out that it took "five gay men to replace Martha Stewart."
"Over-pectorialized" circuit party guys become "Cornish
gay men."
In the Mideast, "the very least they
could do is put up the billboards with the suicide prevention hotline
numbers."
On gay marriage as a wedge issue: "We
are like the butt thong between the cheek of church and the cheek of state."
If you like your humor fast, political,
literate, and always slightly outrageous, The Marrying Kind belongs
on your holiday list - for giving or getting.
E. Lynn Lemont lives and writes in Franklin County.