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Abstinence Only
Abstinence Only
by Lynn Martin
Why
we as parents should be concerned about abstinent only programs in our
Schools:
Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will
not depart from it.
– Proverbs 21:6
That's a pretty awesome responsibility placed
on us poor human parents.
The Christian Bible gives us total responsibility
for what a girl or boy becomes as an adult. So ingrained is this in our
psyche, that when a child is first put into our arms, either at birth
or through adoption, we all take a gasping breath, as the import of being
responsible for this innocent life hits us in the solar plexus. I know
I felt totally awed and inadequate when I held each of my three children
for the first time.
It has always been my belief that parents
or guardians are responsible, as far as it is possible, to teach the child
by word and example how to stay safe in an unsafe world. It's a bit easier
to do that when the child is young, and under your watching eye. I, for
example, know that cars and trucks can kill. Thus I teach the child to
look both ways before crossing a road. Or not to cross a road without
holding my hand. If I had the knowledge about cars and trucks, and did
not give that to the child, I would be immoral. To let a child learn that
by trial and error would be ludicrous.
But it gets much more difficult when
it comes to drinking and using drugs. I don't believe this should be left
to trial and error either. Which is what it feels like to me when I hear
people who feel that talking about safer sex, the use of condoms, or the
use of sterile syringes when getting tattooed or injecting drugs is putting
the idea in the young person’s head and they will immediately go
out and try it.
What world do these people live in?
Do they not watch television? Any young person who watches television
for five hours is more enticed toward exploring sex than from hearing
any HIV prevention message. Do these people not remember how curious they
were when they were young? Human beings are programmed to explore the
world they live in. But somehow the people who insist on programs based
on abstinence-only, choose to ignore this.
I have nothing against teaching abstinence.
Most young people are not ready for relationships at an early age. But
to offer only abstinence is like not telling a child about trucks and
cars in the road. Here I am, as an adult, with the knowledge that could
prevent my child from having a life threatening disease like HIV. I know
full well that human beings are apt to make erroneous decisions (any reading
of the Bible illustrates this). Or, heaven forbid, be enticed to
do something they wouldn't ordinarily do. Why would someone not tell them
how to take care of themselves? Why would someone not tell them about
condoms and sterile syringes as a way to prevent HIV? I believe not to
do this is immoral.
It makes me angry. Somewhere a young
person will die because of their beliefs. They will say, it was the young
person's fault. I say a society that doesn't protect its young is in deep
trouble.
Lynn Martin is a poet and AIDS prevention worker who lives in Brattleboro.